Thanksgiving,Death,and Cancer

one word doesnt belong......
its sorta an oxy moron riight....
thanksgiving is everyone coming together
cancer and death are loved ones leaving us ....
this thanksgiving i was pulled aside and was told my grandmother has lung cancer
im the only one who knows
she tells me she wants me in charge of her body
me...
she tells me she has everything paid for and that all i have to do is arrange it
me...
she told me she thinks im the strongest in my family to deal with this
Earlier this year my mother was close to dying due to cancer....
and now im losing a true mother....
My brothers sheded their tears and i had to be the strong 1
im the one who kept positive....
but as selfish as it sounds whos gonna be strong for me????